The phone rang as I was studying on a typical Monday morning. On the other end of the line was a good buddy of mine. This guy has been there through the highs and lows of my life. His family and mine share a great deal of mutual experiences and history. We met in 1994. My second child was born in 1994, and my first was three years old. My marriage was only six years old. (I refuse to mention how old my wife and I were way back then to avoid revealing my bride’s current age. Decisions like this keep me married!)

Over the years, my buddy and I have traveled together, preached together, struggled together, and rejoiced together. Our families, each having two sons, have eaten so many meals and had so much coffee together it is impossible to even think about counting the calories and caffeine. We have even taken a couple of vacations together as our children grew. (There is a story, which may or may not be true, about a late-night security guard arriving at our door to shut down a rowdy game of Guitar Hero in a condominium complex in the Smoky Mountains. Our kids thought that was cool.) Our lives have been intertwined for over thirty years.

We now live over four hours’ drivetime apart, yet when the phone rang, the words spoken between my friend and me began as if we still lived on the same street and the conversation had never had an intermission. Now, that is a good friend – and I was glad to hear from him. Sometimes I encourage him, sometimes he encourages me, and often, we simply talk, and the gravity of our situations fade away while we share with one another.

Everyone needs a good friend. A good friend is a great source of encouragement when you feel alone. According to a January 15, 2025 Pew Research Center report, about sixteen percent of Americans say they feel lonely or isolated from those around them all or most of the time – including roughly equal shares of men and women. About thirty-eight percent of adults say they sometimes feel lonely, and only forty-seven percent say they hardly ever or never feel lonely (https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2025/01/16/men-women-and-social-connections/, accessed 4/7/2025).

Apparently, men are less apt to realize this than women. According to that same study, women are more likely than men to turn to their mother, a friend, another family member, or a mental health professional. Additionally, the study reveals that eighty-one percent of Americans report having at least one close friend, and sixty-four percent claim to have more than one close friend.

I now ask you – are you lonely? I believe many people feel lonely from time to time, and research seems to back this up. According to this one study, only less than half of those surveyed claim to never feel lonely, and I wonder how many of them may be misreporting their own feelings. Now, I ask you – do you have a friend like the one I described in the opening paragraphs of this article? I have found that many do have that friend, but our lives are so busy that we fail to reach out and connect with them. Others assume he is too busy. Still others, those who may be misreporting their own situation, are too proud or seemingly self-sufficient to admit the need.

In a world where we are tempted and even encouraged to live the perfect Facebook and Instagram life in front of others, perhaps we fail to be honest and genuine with one another for fear of being found less-than-perfect.

How often do you connect with friends? Have you connected with a close friend this week? Here are some suggestions for connecting.

Cellphones – the closer of distance. Have you considered staying in touch with social media and all the gadgetry available now? (I remember when a phone was held by a cord on the wall, and I can now answer my watch and communicate with face-to-face on my cellphone!)

Coffee – the warmth of face-to-face discussion. I jokingly call coffee the only legal Baptist addiction…and I use it to its utmost. Have you met a friend for coffee lately? There is something relaxing about slowing down and sitting with a good friend over a cup, or two, or three, of coffee.

Texts – the quick communique. I have friends who text me when they pray for me. I have others who text to just see how things are going. I send texts to several people throughout the week to do the same. This quick method of staying in touch can enhance your relationship with very few words and very little effort.

Time – the expense that conveys care. Do you ever intentionally make room in your calendar to spend an afternoon, even if it means driving, to see a friend? When we choose to spend time, something of which we have an unknown amount, it says we care. Someone once said “love” is spelled T-I-M-E.

I hope you are not lonely. I hope you have a good friend. I hope you and your friend communicate well and regularly. We all need these things. It seems most people have bouts of loneliness, and the expectations of social media perfection tend to add to the frustration. Take time to take care of yourself and your friends.

Dr. Kevin Garrett has served for over thirty years in the areas of music ministry, student ministry, recreation ministry, education ministry, and as a pastor. He has written curricula for youth and adult ministries for LifeWay Christian Resources. Kevin’s passion is to help individuals become spiritually healthy and lead healthy churches. He has a keen interest in helping leaders and churches find vision and engage with all generations within the challenges of the twenty-first century. He holds a BS in Education and an MA in Music from Jacksonville State University. He also holds an MDiv, DMin from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary, with specializations in church health and next generation ministries. He and his wife, Tina, joyfully serve as pastor of First Baptist Church of Atmore, AL. The two enjoy time with their children, Geoffrey and Sydney Garrett, and Nelson and Brooke Garrett, as well as with their grandchildren, Jaden, Ariel, and Elise. To read more of his work visit his website.