Getting back to the basics of praying before running interference (unwanted interference at that!) on behalf of our grandchildren, it is critical to remember the hard truth that sometimes God and our adult children say no. I wonder if grandparents would hear fewer no’s from God and our adult children if we took the time to ask the Lord what he wants of us as circumstances arise. Grandparents need to accept the fact that sometimes our grand plans “end with prayer” simply because we’re attempting to meet a need God doesn’t want us to tackle. After receiving so many no’s, hearing a yes from God (or our adult children) forces grandparents to pose some practical questions: How do I love them? How do I go about knowing them? How do I speak truth into their lives? How do I help prepare them for facing life in general? To get those answers, the only solution is to pray. Before we take even one step out our back door, we need to quiet ourselves before the Lord and ask him to give us our marching orders for the day. I
wonder how often I miss God’s plans for me because I roll right into action before even asking him if he wants me to get involved.
Let’s be honest: There are many moments when we see a need in our grandchildren’s lives (as we did all those years ago in our now adult children’s lives), and we jump into the situation without praying first. We long to bring a smile to our grandchildren’s faces by buying them something they want. We feel happy when we meet a need. We anticipate fun-filled visits when we can pile on the goodies (food, festive activities, and frivolous extras). God, the greatest parent, knows exactly what our little ones need
most. Their parents, too, know better than we grandparents what is most needed for their growth. In all seasons of life, let us wise grandparents first quiet our hearts and minds in God’s presence before leaping into the situation headlong. Then, and only then, should we carefully wade in with our thoughts, suggestions, or offers to supply something. From beginning to end, prayer must supersede involvement, including the loving involvement of the grandest of grandparents.
Take-away Action Thought
When I feel the temptation to jump in headlong to meet a need in my grandchild’s life, I will stop first and take the needed time to pray and seek God’s will in the matter.
My Heart’s Cry to You, O Lord
Father, help me to seek you before I leap into action in regard to my grandchildren’s lives. You know what a temptation it is for me to want to take away pain and suffering. But you also know that we all learn the most, grow the deepest, and are molded into your image when we have to endure hardship. I never want to short-circuit the good you are doing in my grandchildren’s lives by giving them too much too often. Help me to take time to sit quietly in your presence and seek your will before offering my help. I
want them to grow into mature, loving, selfless adults who mirror Jesus in thought, word, and deed. Give me your wisdom to understand best how to love them. Amen.
Grand Ideas
- When you see a need you want to meet in your grandchildren’s lives, consult the Lord first and then seek your adult children’s permission.
- Learn how to prayerfully develop self-control and view your grandchildren’s learning experiences as opportunities for character growth.
- In all things, seek to meet needs, offer support, and give materially in a balanced manner.
Michele Howe is the author of twenty-seven books for women, children and families. She has published over 3000 articles, reviews, and curricula and has been interviewed on Focus on the Family several times. Her newest releases include Deliver Us: Finding Hope in the Psalms for Moments of Desperation; Big Feelings, Bigger God – Discovering God’s Care in Good Times and Bad; and Finding Freedom and Joy in Self-Forgetfulness. Feel free to explore her website here.
Sympathy is weakness Michelle. The verse, 2 Timothy 1:7, states: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and self-control.” Love must go together with Self-control. thanks for this.
Your friend – His servant,
Isaac Otieno