Learning To Speak A Blessing To Grandchildren

A spoken blessing is an opportunity for a grandparent to share his or her deep affection and desired future for a grandchild. John Trent and Gary Smalley describe blessing in the following way, “A family blessing begins with meaningful touching. It continues with a spoken message of high value, a message that pictures a special future for the individual being blessed, and one that is based on an active commitment to see the blessing come to pass.”[1] According to Trent and Smalley, a spoken blessing contains at least three elements: meaningful touch, a message of high value, and a picture of a special future.[2] Let’s look at each more closely.

Meaningful Touch

Meaningful touch was an important element of blessings in Scripture. John Trent and Gary Smalley state, “Each time the blessing was given in the Scriptures, meaningful touching provided a caring background to the words that would be spoken. Kissing, hugging, or the laying on of hands were all part of bestowing the blessing.”[3] If you are not someone who normally hugs a grandchild, then a blessing provides you with that opportunity.

Message of High Value

Many grandchildren are not verbally encouraged or affirmed often and are in danger of developing a low self-worth and pursuing affection from wrong sources. Some grandparents assume family members know they are loved despite rarely communicating affection. Other grandparents believe that being present in person is the blessing. Both are misconceptions. I don’t know of a single person who tires of hearing they are loved and valued. Silence is a powerful form of communication. Trent and Smalley state, “The major thing silence communicates is confusion. Children who are left to fill in the blanks when it comes to what their parents think about them will often fail the test when it comes to feeling valuable and secure. Spoken words at least give the hearer an indication that he or she is worthy of some attention.”[4] God blessed us by giving us His Son, the Word that “became flesh and dwelt among us” (John 1:14). God is a God of the spoken word and you should be a grandparent who imitates God’s method with your family.

Picture of a Special Future

The last element of a blessing in the Bible focuses on a child’s future. You will bless your grandchild when you recognize his strength or her gifting and speak into ways that God can use a child’s special wiring for his good and glory in the future. John Trent and Gary Smalley state that we cannot predict the future but, “We can, however, encourage and help them to set meaningful goals. We can also convey to them that the gifts and character traits they have right now are attributes that God can bless and use in the future.”[5] Your words need to be accompanied by a commitment to help a grandchild mature in Christ.

Why should you consider blessing your family with a spoken blessing? Here are five reasons:

• • Modeled by God. God placed a high value on the spoken blessing by incorporating it into the creation of humanity as well as the baptism and transfiguration of Jesus. What was the first thing that God did after creating Adam and Eve, “God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it’” (Gen. 1:29). Abraham, Issac, and Jacob blessed their children and grandchildren (Gen. 17:15-17; 27; 49). God set an example for us when he blessed Jesus at his baptism and transfiguration, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased” (Matt. 3:17; 17:5).

• • A common practice in the Old Testament. The most famous blessing is the Priestly blessing from Aaron to the people of Israel, “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance on you and give you peace” (Numb. 6:24-26).

• • A repeated pattern of Scripture. It was a big event in biblical times to be blessed by your father. Many young people resonate with Esau’s heartfelt request, “Bless me, even me also, O my father” (Gen. 27:38). Esau longed to be loved by his father and Isaac missed an opportunity to encourage his son and build a strong family. A blessing has no mystical or magical power, but it can build intimacy, reduce insecurity, and provide a hope- filled vision for the future.

• • God’s plan for humanity. God tells Abraham that he will bless the world through his descendants, which ultimately points to Jesus. Genesis 12:3 states, “In you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.” To understand this statement, we must recognize that all creation and every human lives under the curse of sin. Sin affects everything that exists. Genesis 12:3 reveals God’s unfolding plan of salvation through Jesus Christ, the blessing of Abraham, who will reverse the curse through his death and resurrection and finally through his second coming. For those in Christ, we rejoice that Jesus became the curse for us in order that we might become the righteousness of Christ and we live in anticipation that the curse will be reversed so that there is no more death, tears, or pain. Our families are full of people who live under the curse and God has made us agents of blessing by preaching the gospel and feeding the family flock.

• • A command to bless the Lord. God instructs believers to bless the Lord, “Lift up your hands to the Holy Place and bless the Lord” (Ps. 134:2). “Bless the LORD, O my soul, And all that is within me, bless His holy name” (Ps. 103:1).

A blessing is valuable because it creates a time and way to communicate affection and affirmation. If you want to become more intentional in this area, consider utilizing a blessing as it may provide a vehicle for you to communicate the affection you feel, but don’t always say. An added value of blessings is that they are powerful due to the forethought required and the formal nature of a spoken blessing. If blessings help you, then I encourage you to use them while recognizing that there is no mystical power or required action associated to them in the Bible.

If you would like to speak a blessing to your grandchild I encourage you to write it out and give it to your grandchild when finished. They will cherish this gift and return to it throughout life. You might consider including a meaningful passage of Scripture that reflects who your grandchild is or a desired future for the grandchild. Make the time of blessing special and not rushed. May the Lord bless your efforts to impact your children and grandchildren for Christ!

Example of Blessings

Example #1:
From Jane Mulvihill to Josh Mulvihill

May you know that God delights in you and loves you.
May you know what a treasure you are to me, to God and to his kingdom.
May Jesus satisfy your every need and your every desire.
May you always walk in the Spirit. May you love the Lord your God with all your heart.
May you love the lost into the kingdom.
May you be filled up to overflowing with God’s abundant blessings.

Example #2:
Given at the Birth of a Grandchild

Thomas, son of Bruce and Alice, welcome to the Nelson and Harden families. I cannot begin to tell you how much your grandmother and I are thrilled to have you with us. We have anticipated your arrival with great eagerness, and you have not disappointed us at all. Though you came into this world through much hardship and pain, you have been received with much joy and delight! With the same measure of struggle and determination with which you have entered this life, so shall your measure of courage, strength and perseverance be in the service of your Creator, Lord and Savior.

You are Thomas, “seeker of truth,” and so shall you be a man who passionately seeks after God and His truth with a bold faith. As a man of faith and seeker of truth, you will know the reward and cost of following Christ in a hostile world. With God as your help, may you be strong and courageous, not fearing man, but trusting God with your whole heart.

You are blessed with parents who love you and who love the Lord. They have chosen to build their marriage and family upon the foundation of faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, a foundation that will not crumble. Learn from their example, heed their instruction, and imitate their faith, for in as much as their love grows and endures for one another and the Lord, so shall this blessing be fulfilled in you.

We love you, Thomas, and we promise to pray for you, your parents, and your growth in wisdom, grace and truth.

With all our love,

Your Proud and Grateful Grandparents

Example #3:
Spoken to a Grade School Aged Grandchild

Daniel, you are loved, you are special, and God has given you important gifts uniquely planned for His purposes for you. You are an unfinished work in the Master Workman’s hands. May you continue to grow in the process He is using to complete the masterpiece He is working in you.

Your Bible namesake (Daniel) was a great man of faith and prayer. He believed God and was willing to trust God faithfully even if it meant he must die. You have a great strength of character, Daniel, and a loyal heart. May you always be loyal to your God and use that heart to serve others well.

We love you, take great delight in you, and will always pray for you. May you always seek and serve the Lord in all you. And may your heart always be full of God’s love, peace, joy and happiness. These things come from God, not the things of the world. Find them and you will find great reward.

With all our love,
Papa and Nana
Matthew 5:16

References:

[1] John Trent and Gary Smalley, The Blessing: Giving the Gift of Unconditional Love and Acceptance (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2004), 30.

[2] John Trent and Gary Smalley, The Blessing: Giving the Gift of Unconditional Love and Acceptance (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2004), 30.

[3] John Trent and Gary Smalley, The Blessing: Giving the Gift of Unconditional Love and Acceptance (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2004), 30.

[4] John Trent and Gary Smalley, The Blessing: Giving the Gift of Unconditional Love and Acceptance (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2004), 31. 5] John Trent and Gary Smalley, The Blessing: Giving the Gift of Unconditional Love and Acceptance (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2004), 34.

Josh Mulvihill is the Executive Director of Church and Family Ministry at Renewanation. He served as a pastor for nearly 20 years, has a PhD in Family Ministry, serves on the board of Awana, and is the author or editor of ten books on parenting and grandparenting including Biblical Grandparenting, Preparing Children for Marriage, Biblical Worldview, and his latest 50 Things Every Child Needs to Know Before Leaving Home. He is married to Jen, they have five children, and live on a family farm in Minnesota. Josh blogs at GospelShapedFamily.com, enjoys camping with friends, reading a great book around the bonfire, and catching big fish in Minnesota lakes.

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