Fathers are funny things. We expect so much from them and yet we’re so easily hurt when they don’t do what we expect. They are absolutely necessary for life but we’re always trying to prove just how little we need them.

So, when God gave Moses the Ten Commandments, we shouldn’t think it wildly unusual that He gives specific instructions about fathers[1]. And when the Apostle Paul writes to the Ephesians, he explains how this is the first of God’s commandments that has a promise attached to it[2].

But instead of saying that we’re to have blind obedience to our fathers, God makes it makes it more flexible. Some would say that honoring is more difficult to follow. Obedience is sort of black and white. We’re either doing what they want or not. But honoring takes thought and judgement.

Honor is one of those ideas and words that’s hard to pin down. Just when you think you’ve got it nailed down, it squirms away. Just when you think you understand honor, it slips away. You try to put it in an envelope, but it doesn’t seem to want to fit into one.

So, what does honoring mean? The basic idea is that you give a value to someone or something. It doesn’t matter what others think, you give it a value and then you stick to it.

My dad had collected lots and lots of tools during his life. And his most important, most valuable tools were locked away in a chest in his basement. He was very adamant about the value of those tools. To him, they were worth lots of money. They were honored tools.

Unfortunately, no one else thought them valuable. No one else gave them the honor my dad did. The best offer I received was that if I paid them $200, they would take them off my hands.

Perhaps you’ve been in exactly the same place. But instead of honoring tools, it was about honoring fathers. I’ve listened to people who had been desperately hurt by their fathers. They deeply struggled with the idea where God says to honor their father because it didn’t seem like they deserved it.

So, how do we noodle this out? It turns out that there’s honor and then there’s honor.

Honor Assigned

The first part of honoring our father is to give them the honor that God has assigned to them. This is the honor that God says is due to our parents. By the very fact that they were there when we began and took care of us in those very early days, means that they deserve some honor. This is the same kind of honor that officials and people in different positions should be shown. No matter your political party or views, our leaders deserve to be shown honor.

In The West Wing, there was a scene that clearly shows this kind of honor. President Bartlet comes into a room and one person refuses to stand because they disagree with him and his policies. The President stares at them and says, “In this building, when the President stands, nobody sits[3].” This is honor assigned.

Honor Earned

This second kind of honor is shown to people who have done something special. Something great. Their life and accomplishments have put them into a unique category where they’ve earned additional honor. People that sacrifice themselves for the benefit and care of others. This can be something as small as a cup of cool water[4]

The military does this through recognition of self-sacrifice. Abraham Lincoln called it “the last full measure of devotion” in The Gettysburg Address. If you want to see this kind of earned honor in action, visit the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier outside Washington, DC. These soldiers are honored, even though their rank was insignificant.

A Living Example

The writer of Hebrews reminds the people that Abraham showed great honor by giving Melchizedek, Mr. M., a tenth of everything he received when Lot was rescued. Mr. M. didn’t ask for it or anything. He didn’t give an invoice to Abraham that outlined all the things that God had done for him. He didn’t demand anything. He didn’t even try to guilt him into giving.

So, what did Mr. M. do to deserve all this from Abraham? What did he give to earn the tenth of all Abraham recovered? Why would Abraham give him this honor? When you look back at the historical story[5], Mr. M. didn’t do all that much. He didn’t even pray for Abraham’s protection or victory.

Mr. M. did bring out bread and wine after the battle was all over, but that wasn’t what separated him from everyone else. The most important thing he did was to pray for and bless Abraham. As the King of Salem and priest of God Most High, Mr. M. was able to speak for God and to bless Abraham.

Remember that the Hebrews who were reading this letter were under great persecution. They were thinking about turning their backs on the one-time sacrifice of Jesus on the cross for all sins: past, present, and future. The only alternative is to go back to paying for their sins by themselves. This would be the greatest dishonor of all. They knew what the sacrifice of Jesus meant, and they were looking to ignore it.

God Himself tells us that He’s lifted Jesus to the highest possible place. He’s also given Jesus the highest and greatest name. When Jesus’ name is spoken or heard, our reaction is to bow our knees in worship. Us and every other knee in all of creation. And every voice is to praise Jesus as Lord of all[6].

Now, that’s some kind of honor. As God from eternity past and our creator, He’s earned all the assigned honor possible. And through His death on the cross for all our sins, He also deserves all possible earned honor.

The question for us is how are we doing with our honoring Jesus? Are we bowing down to Him? In worship to Him? Or are we totally consumed with what’s happening to us? Or not happing for us? How’s our honoring Him through thanksgiving going? Or are we constantly complaining? Today is the day to start responding with honor for who He is and all He’s done in our lives.

[1] Exodus 20:12

[2] Ephesians 6:2

[3] https://youtu.be/VKhTFDBj-rw?si=aJVvbIm_kAVOA6s&t=207

[4] Matthew 10:42

[5] Genesis 14:17-24

[6] Philippians 2:10.11

People who positively respond to Chet Gladkowski, deeply love their grandchildren, and great grandchildren. He writes from a very practical, daily living standpoint. Everything he writes points us to Jesus, the one who died for us. Each calls us to please the one who first loved us. He serves through www.ChetGlad.org where his blogs and Bible teachings can be found in text and audio. His new book, “HOPE is the Key – Living Through God’s Superpower” is available on his website, Amazon, and other distributors.