Former U.S. Senator Alan Simpson once said, “If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don’t have integrity, nothing else matters.” That hits hard—and it should.
Let’s face it: Men face a daily barrage of temptations:
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- Cut corners to close the deal.
- Check out that woman who isn’t your wife.
- “Borrow” some office supplies.
- Fudge a few numbers on expenses.
- Lie by omission.
- Click on a website you shouldn’t visit.
- Hide a little income.
- Skip out early from work.
It’s a long list and, if we’re honest, a familiar one. Most men I talk with agree that we’re living amid a widespread integrity crisis. Even things that seem harmless on the surface reveal a mindset that integrity is optional.
Here’s the deeper issue: Too many men are trying to behave their way out of a belief they’ve bought into. If I believe tithing is optional, or that a little porn isn’t a big deal, or that “white lies” don’t count, then no amount of willpower will change my actions. Because behavior follows belief. And belief lives in the heart.
What men really need isn’t behavior modification; it’s heart transformation. That’s why we start with God’s Word. The Bible doesn’t just tell us what to do; it changes why we do it. It reshapes what we love, what we value, and who we want to be.
Here’s a solid working definition for us as Christian men:
Integrity is a one-to-one correlation between my Bible, my belief, and my behavior.
If what I read in Scripture lines up with what I believe and shows up in how I live, that’s integrity.
So where do we start? First, ask yourself: Where in my life do my beliefs and behaviors not line up? Reflect on the questions below or discuss them with a trusted friend. Then ask God: “Lord, would You change my heart in that area?”
Integrity isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being aligned—and asking God to keep pulling your heart in the right direction.
For reflection and discussion:
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- Where in your life do you feel the tension between your beliefs and your behaviors?
- What beliefs might be driving those behaviors? (For example, do you believe God won’t provide unless you cut corners? That “a little look” doesn’t hurt anyone? That small lies are justified if the outcome is good?) And how are those beliefs shaping your choices?
- What would full integrity look like in that area—for your heart to be transformed? What Scriptures could you start meditating on?
- What might change in your life if your Bible, your belief, and your behavior all lined up?
Motivated by his own search for meaning, purpose, and a deeper relationship with God, Patrick Marley started a weekly Bible study in a bar with a handful of guys in 1986—a study that now reaches thousands of men around the world every week. Inspired and challenged by those studies and conversations, he wrote The Man in the Mirror, named one of the 100 most influential books of the 20th century. The deep hunger he saw in men for a more authentic life led him to start Man in the Mirror—a global men’s ministry impacting thousands of churches and millions of men. Widely regarded as a leading authority on men’s issues, Patrick has written 22 books and more than 750 articles—all focused on helping men solve their most compelling problems. His books have been translated into numerous languages and printed in 48 countries. “The ministry of Man in the Mirror exists,” says Patrick Morley, “in answer to the prayers of all those wives, mothers, and grandmothers who have for decades been praying for the men in their lives.” Patrick graduated from the University of Central Florida, earned a PhD in management, completed postgraduate studies at Harvard Business School and Oxford University, and graduated from Reformed Theological Seminary. He and his wife live in Winter Park, Florida. They have two married children and five grandchildren.
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Well and Good. It was a sterling example of integrity – His and hers. On his way to the home of a synagogue official named Jairus, Christ Jesus stopped to identify and attend to someone in the crowd surrounding him. A woman had touched the hem of his clothes in her desperate search for healing. She was considered unclean because of her long-standing illness, and religious law prohibited her from coming in contact with anyone.
When she came forward to Jesus, she fearfully but honestly admitted that she had touched him and been healed. Jesus lovingly said to her, “Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace, and be whole of thy plague” (Mark 5:34).
This Bible story shows two sides of integrity, and both are important in healing. One is the morality expressed by the woman’s faith, honesty, and resolve. The other, and higher, meaning of integrity is what Jesus gave to the woman – an understanding of herself as whole, free from sin and disease.
The message “Be whole” speaks to us, too. Much around us – relationships, government, health, and so on – can feel broken. We yearn to repair what’s troubling us. And, like the woman, we can trust our pure desire for good to guide us to Christ, God’s healing message to human consciousness assuring us that we and all are already whole.
If we want to follow Jesus in healing ourselves and others (and we can), strong moral qualities such as honesty and humility are essential. It’s important, however, to let morality lead us beyond human goodness to spirituality, or a closer walk with God,
Your Friend – His servant,
Isaac Otieno