(To Begin in  Part 1)

Picking up from where we left off in Part 4, we begin with,

Step 5 – Extend Kindness Beyond Your Comfort Zone

Jesus didn’t just love the easy people.

He loved the ones who betrayed Him, mocked Him, and nailed Him to a tree. He extended kindness to people who didn’t deserve it, didn’t earn it, and wouldn’t reciprocate it. That’s the standard. And it wrecks most of us because we’re still operating on a transactional system—be kind to me, and I’ll be kind back. Cross me, and you’re cut off.

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:27-28, NIV).

“But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked” (Luke 6:35, NIV).

Read that last phrase again. God is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. Not just the nice people. Not just the ones who say thank you. He pours out kindness on people who hate Him. Why? Because that’s His character. And if you’re His child, it’s supposed to be yours too.

This is where the rubber meets the road. Kindness to your family is baseline. To people who are easy is expected. Especailly to the difficult, the annoying, the hostile—that’s where Christ’s power shows up.

Who’s that person in your life you avoid? The coworker who grates on you. The neighbor who’s always complaining. The family member who’s toxic. The guy at church who rubs you the wrong way. Jesus says love them anyway. Serve them. Pray for them. Do good to them even when they don’t deserve it.

This doesn’t mean you have no boundaries. It doesn’t mean you let them abuse you. It means you refuse to return evil for evil. You absorb the offense, release the bitterness, and choose kindness even when it costs you.

Practically, this might look like helping someone move even though they never helped you. Buying lunch for a coworker who’s never bought you one. Checking in on someone everyone else has written off. Forgiving someone who hasn’t apologized. Praying for someone who’s actively working against you.

Does it feel fair? No. Does it make sense? Not to your flesh. But you’re not operating by the world’s rules anymore. You’re operating by the Kingdom’s rules, and in the Kingdom, love wins every time.

This kind of kindness is costly. It requires you to die to your right to be treated well. To release your need for justice. To trust that God sees, God knows, and God will settle accounts in His time. Your job isn’t to punish. It’s to love.

When you extend kindness beyond your comfort zone, you become dangerous in the best way. Start today. Identify one person you’ve been unkind to—through actions, words, or just cold indifference. Reach out. Apologize if needed. Serve them in some tangible way. Watch what God does with your obedience.

Kindness isn’t just for the easy moments or the easy people. It’s for the hard ones. That’s when it matters most. That’s when it looks most like Jesus.

Kindness in Action – Your Daily Game Plan Starting Tomorrow

Enough theory. Here’s what to do.

Receive God’s kindness first:

• • Wake up 20 minutes earlier than usual
  • Sit somewhere quiet with your Bible and coffee
  • Read one passage slowly—let it land
  • Ask God to show you who He is and who you are in Him
  • Pray for His Spirit to fill you so you can love others well today
  • Sit in silence for 3-5 minutes and just receive His presence

Steward your body like it matters:

• • Get 7-8 hours of sleep every night—set a bedtime and stick to it
  • Eat three meals a day built around protein, vegetables, and healthy fats
  • Cut the processed junk and stabilize your blood sugar
  • Walk 30 minutes daily while you pray or listen to Scripture
  • Lift weights 3 times per week—you need strength to serve
  • Drink half your body weight in ounces of water every day

Practice kindness in hard moments:

• • When someone irritates you, pause and take three deep breaths before responding
  • Ask yourself: “What would kindness look like here?”
  • Choose a gentle answer even when harsh words feel justified
  • When your wife criticizes something, ask “What do you need from me?” instead of defending yourself
  • When your kids are losing it, kneel down to their level and speak calmly
  • Address conflict directly without seeking revenge—pursue resolution, not retaliation

Lead your home with patient strength:

• • Apologize quickly when you’re wrong—no defensiveness, no “but you…”
  • Put your phone down during meals and conversations
  • Listen to your wife without trying to fix everything immediately
  • Serve in the mundane stuff—dishes, laundry, bedtime routines—without keeping score
  • Discipline your kids firmly but without rage—teach, don’t just punish
  • Make eye contact with your kids and ask about their day—then actually listen

Extend kindness beyond your comfort zone:

• • Identify one person you’ve been avoiding or treating coldly
  • Reach out to them this week—apologize if needed, serve them in some tangible way
  • Pray for someone who’s wronged you instead of rehearsing their offense
  • Help someone who can’t help you back
  • Forgive someone who hasn’t apologized
  • Serve the difficult, the annoying, the hostile—just like Jesus did for you

Daily rhythm:

• • Morning: Receive God’s kindness before you engage anyone else
  • Throughout the day: Pause before reacting in hard moments
  • Evening: Review the day with God—celebrate wins, confess failures, plan for tomorrow
  • Weekly: Identify one person outside your comfort zone to show intentional kindness

When you fail (and you will):

• • Confess it quickly to God and the person you hurt
  • Don’t wallow in shame—receive forgiveness and move forward
  • Ask God to show you the root issue—exhaustion, pride, unhealed wounds
  • Adjust your lifestyle to address the root, not just the symptom
  • Get back up tomorrow and try again

Kindness isn’t about perfection. It’s about progression. Start tomorrow morning. Wake up, sit with God, and let Him fill you. Then walk into your day ready to pour out what you’ve received. Do it again the next day. And the next. Watch what happens over 30 days, 90 days, a year.

Your family will notice. Your friends will notice. Most importantly, the world will see Jesus in you—not because you’re perfect, but because you’re letting His kindness flow through you in a thousand small, consistent ways.

That’s the goal. Not to impress anyone. Just to reflect the One who showed you kindness when you deserved judgment. Live out what you’ve received. That’s biblical manhood. That’s Christlikeness in action.

Now go do it.

Tyler Inloes is a graduate of California State University, Northridge and a Certified Personal Trainer & Fitness Nutrition Specialist. He grew up as a “Chunky Christian.” To solve his personal weight problem, he turned to God and the Bible for help. His goal is now to help believers reach their full potential – both physically & spiritually by teaching us how the journey to a healthier body and a closer relationship with God go hand in hand. His mission is to help us transform our bodies into the temple God designed it to be, so that we can live our God given purpose. Tyler is married and has two children. When he is not training, he enjoys family, playing basketball with his son, or Disney Princess with his daughter. He also enjoys a well-deserved date night with his wife as much as possible. To find out more about Tyler please visit his website.

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