I am currently reading through Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians as part of my personal study. I have read this letter many times before, but what I love about the Bible is that no matter how many times you engage with it, you will always find something new within its beautiful pages. As the author of Hebrews writes:
“For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12).
During this journey through 1 Corinthians, I encountered a passage I’ve read dozens of times, but today, my eyes were opened to see it with new intentionality. In Paul’s discourse on marriage and divorce, he writes:
“To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife” (1 Corinthians 7:10-11).
Did you catch the distinction? This isn’t just Paul’s advice; this is a command from the Lord Jesus Christ. It is directed at believers—those who claim Jesus as Lord and live in obedience to Him. Paul notes that while a wife should not separate, if she does, she has two options: remain unmarried or be reconciled.
However, the command to husbands is straightforward, with no “extra toppings”: Husbands must NOT divorce their wives. Period.
Why is this significant? Why are wives given a conditional “if she does,” while husbands are given a definitive “must not”? After some reflection and prayer, I reached a spiritual conclusion: It is about the Mirror.
God is the head of all things. He is faithful even when we are unfaithful. He is the Husband, and we—the Church—are His Bride. It is almost impossible to truly grasp the undying commitment God has for us; He is the ultimate example of true love.
In Genesis, we see the foundation of this bond:
“The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.’ … Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man… The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh…’ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh” (Genesis 2:18, 21-24).
Woman was formed for man—not as a slave, but as an indispensable partner who supplies what the man lacks. She is the final brushstroke of the masterpiece. Without her, man is incomplete.
So, why the “strict” line for husbands? Because the relationship between a husband and wife is a living picture of God’s relationship with His people. As Christian men, we are called to be the reflection of God in our marriage.
Just as God is forever bound to His Bride, we are tied to our wives. While we are sinners who will never do this perfectly, we are commanded to stay true to the covenant. God has never divorced Himself from His people; therefore, we must never divorce our wives.
This doesn’t mean a wife is free to come and go as she pleases—Paul explicitly says she should not separate. However, God recognizes that men are imperfect and can fail. If circumstances push a wife away, she may separate, but she must not seek another; she must look toward reconciliation.
Why are men held to such a rigid standard? Because we are called to be the head of the home, just as Christ is the head of the Church. We are responsible for our wives and our children. It is our duty to be the reflection of God to our families.
Man was created first and given the weight of responsibility. Woman was created to complete him. After thousands of years, the mandate has not changed: We are called to be the example of Jesus Christ to our families.
This is a non-negotiable standard. To do this well, we must be disciplined and diligent, staying rooted in the Word and in a close relationship with the Father.
My Encouragement to You
As a follower of Jesus, a husband, and a father, I encourage you to view your duties as permanent and foundational to who you are. Be the reflection of God in your home. When you fall short—and you will—be repentant, turn from your wrong, and seek the One who will never leave or forsake you.
Dr. Kristopher Wallaert is an educator in Mountain Home, Idaho. He enjoys being outdoors – hiking, camping, and hunting. He also finds peace in taking care of their property. He and his wife have been happily married for over 14 years. Together they have four phenomenal children – three girls and one boy. He holds a doctorate in education with an emphasis in leadership and administration. Kristopher has a yearning to be a man of God for his family, and to be a good example for his children. You can find more about Kristopher in Selfless-Leadership.
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Very profoundly stated. And even as a wife, I realize that my relationship with my husband must be as pure as my relationship with Jesus must be. I always pray that, as a wife, I would live out that example of the bride of Christ that we are to be to Jesus.