There are four specific areas in which I, as the sole caregiver, am experiencing difficulties with the advancing symptoms of dementia that my wife displays. They are: (1) Irregular Sleep Patterns, (2) Diminishing Nutritional Food Intake, (3) Consistent Taking of Prescribed Medications, and (4) Personal Hygiene Requirements. All of these areas of difficulty can or do have serious ramifications if continually ignored. The difference between six months ago and now is that six months ago, I might run into one of these areas of difficulty once in a while. Now, I am encountering one or more of these increasing symptoms just about every single day. The irregular sleep patterns are the most disruptive because when my wife does not get her required rest, I don’t either. If you experience this symptom night after night for, say four out of five nights, it not only takes its toll with an increased level of confusion in my wife, but it also takes its toll on my own sleep requirements. Then throw in two or three of the other symptoms and the weight of the problem being dealt with increases substantially.

I have also noticed a substantial increase in indifference or emotional detachment. In other words, my wife articulates that she just doesn’t care. If I recommend her taking a shower with my assistance, there is no desire or willingness to do so. She explains the requirement as not being necessary or that it doesn’t matter. In like manner, with regard to food intake, I have deliberately down sized her meal portions, but even here, most times now, during her main meal of the day, which has always been supper, she merely moves the food around or picks at it, eating very little. I have increased her serving of the fortified milkshakes (Ensure), that come with calories, minerals and vitamins, from one to two a day to offset the decreased appetite, but the frequency of not wanting to eat anything has increased substantially. Smaller plate, smaller portions, or just presenting one portion versus a combination of items, has met with limited success. She still does eat most of her breakfast, which consists of a variety of fruit segments and a toasted english muffin with butter and blueberry jam (which she continues to like), or a heated small cinnamon bun plus tea. Lunch is usually missed entirely (she does have an Ensure milkshake) and sometimes a very small bowl of homemade chicken soap, which I continually have available. Supper usually has a high protein item such as an egg, chicken, fish or beef, plus fresh vegetables. An egg or chicken salad sandwich has also been tried with limited success. The short story is that her intake of food has and is continuing to diminish, and this is obviously concerning. I should state that I have not noticed any significant weight loss, but she doesn’t move around near as much as she used to, any more.

My wife normally cooperates with the taking of her meds, but that is subject to change without warning. If my wife gets upset about anything, she has a tendency to show her displeasure by stalling. That would be where she says she will do something, like take her meds, but continually fails to actually take them. She agrees verbally but won’t actually do it. Stalling tactics are picking them up and putting them down, counting them, trying to give them to me, or indicate that she has already taken them.

It is the combination of these symptoms, and the frequency of their appearances that has and is almost a daily occurrence now. Plus, her prevailing mental state would be one of indifference, where her cooperation is required. I strongly suspect that this indifference is not intentional, but rather a mind state that she no longer has control over. In short, my wife used to be able to control, in some measure, the advances of dementia. Now it would appear that dementia has or is slowly removing that control. That realization is part of the weight that the care giver to the spouse with dementia, deals with. It is heavy and multi-layered. I stated previously that: “The weight of making the decision of placement is crushing on so many levels. But that is what I fear we are fast approaching today.” Today’s entry is the rationale behind that pending decision. Understanding what is happening does not make the decision any easier to make. I have the placement request ready, I just can’t bring myself to the point of releasing or sending it yet. I know it is coming, but not today. God grant us Your grace.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES (Links that I found informative and helpful)

https://alzheimer.ca/en

Dementia:Alzheimer’s Disease  Detailed Overview – Highly Recommended PDF Downloadable

DementiaCareblazers  Free YouTube Videos (Very Informative)

Free Dementia Caregiver Survival Guides (Very Helpful)

https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/alzheimers-changes-behavior-and-communication/alzheimers-caregiving-managing-personality-and

https://alzheimer.ca/en/help-support/im-caring-person-living-dementia

https://www.verywellmind.com/the-7-stages-of-dementia-symptoms-and-what-to-expect-6823696

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/alzheimers-disease/in-depth/alzheimers-stages/art-20048448

https://www.verywellmind.com/caring-for-a-loved-one-with-alzheimer-s-disease-5208724

https://www.verywellhealth.com/what-not-to-do-to-people-with-alzheimers-disease-97967

https://alzheimer.ca/en/help-support/im-living-dementia/managing-changes-your-abilities/managing-emotions-stress-living

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/i-will-not-forget-you

https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/symptoms-and-diagnosis/symptoms/restlessness

More to follow.

Worthy is the Lamb! Blessings!

Bruce Cooper is a disciple of Jesus, married to Peggy, with 5 grown up children, 7 grandchildren. He is retired from the Canadian Armed Forces and resides in beautiful Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. a.k.a. “Papa.” To read more of Bruce’s work visit Reasoned Cases For Christ.  

Featured Image by Tyli Jura from Pixabay