Lillian Penner
on September 26, 2022

Are you estranged from your grandchildren?

Being estranged from your grandchildren often results in many negative emotions. Sorting out exactly what you are feeling and trying to develop an approach for dealing with your feelings can be vital for your health, both mental and physical. You will feel sorrow as long as the separation lasts.

6 min read

Are you estranged from your grandchildren?

By Lillian Penner

Recently I received an email from a grandmother who was asking me to pray with her because she was estranged from her granddaughter. Her heart is broken, finding it very difficult to deal with the situation, like many grandparents do today.

When we reach the mid-life years of our lives we look forward to becoming grandparents and very excited when our first grandchild is born and the grandchildren that follow. However, today there are many grandparents with broken hearts because they are estranged from their grandchildren.  

Being estranged from your grandchildren often results in many negative emotions. Sorting out exactly what you are feeling and trying to develop an approach for dealing with your feelings can be vital for your health, both mental and physical. You will feel sorrow as long as the separation lasts.

When grandparents are estranged from their grandchildren, it is best to pray for them asking God to show them how they can show love to them.

Don’t give up, God is still answering prayers, often it is not on our timetable, so we have to ask for patience to wait until He is ready to answer. God’s timing is best, but often we have to wait in God’s waiting room while He is working in the hearts of our grandchildren and their parents.

I have found the Scripture verses in Romans 8:26-28 very helpful when I don’t know how to pray for my grandchildren and their parents. Paul writes, “The Holy Spirit makes intercession for us when we don’t know how to pray.” When I ask the Holy Spirit to make intercession for me according to God’s will, it keeps me from telling God how to answer my prayer, which I love to do. Ask the Holy Spirit to make intercession for your estrangement letting him carry the burden instead of giving him your agenda.

  1. Don’t stop trying to keep in touch. Send cards and letters to your grandchildren keeping the tone of any communication loving but light.
  2. Pray intentionally and regularly, for your grandchildren and their parents, asking God to give you wisdom on how to approach the situation.

My Prayer for Estranged Grandparents

Dear Father, I pray that you will give the estranged grandparents wisdom on how to approach their separation from their grandchildren. 

I pray your Holy Spirit will make intercession for them allowing you to carry out your agenda in your timing for their healing.

Encourage them and give them peace as they intentionally pray and patiently wait for the parents to allow them to be a part of their lives again. In Jesus’ name. Amen

Jesus said to his disciples, The thief comes to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have abundant life.”1 Let’s pray the parents of our grandchildren will not be distracted and overwhelmed by the influence of the world hostile to the truth.  John 10:10

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Lillian Penner is the author of Grandparenting with a Purpose: Effective Ways to Pray for Your Grandchildren in English and Spanish. She has been on staff with the Christian Grandparenting Network  prayer ministry for fourteen years, developing prayer cards, grandparents@Prayer groups, and the Grandparenting Day of Prayer. She has a passion for praying intentionally for her grandchildren and desires to share that passion with other grandparents.

An avid blogger, Lillian breaks into smiles if you ask about her thirteen grandchildren and five great-grandchildren. She and her husband, John, live in Portland, Oregon, where they are active in church ministries. They were both raised in Christian homes and desire to pass their godly heritage to their future generations. She and her husband enjoy traveling, Southern Gospel music but most of all, enjoy spending time with their family.

CGM wish to thank Christian Bowen on Unsplash for the use of our feature photo.

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Ethan Caldwell shares thoughtful insights and reflections on life, culture, and personal growth. His work explores the intersections of creativity and experience, offering readers unique perspectives.

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