Few things lubricate life as much as a simple “thank you.” 

Gratitude—#30 on my alphabetical list of 70 things every man needs to know—is heartfelt appreciation for the blessings and experiences in our lives, with the recognition that they are gifts from God.  

But here’s a vital insight: While it’s one thing to feel grateful, it’s another thing entirely to express it. And the difference can shape your relationship with both God and others.

The Ten Healed Lepers

In Luke 17:11–19, we read the story of ten men who came to see Jesus. They were suffering from leprosy, a disease that not only ravaged their bodies but also made them social outcasts. Jesus miraculously healed all ten men. Yet only one—a Samaritan—returned to say thank you.  

Jesus asked: “Were not all ten cleansed? Where are the other nine? Has no one returned to give praise to God except this foreigner?” (17–18). 

Let’s think about that. Were the other nine ungrateful? Of course not! All ten men would have been been overjoyed, stunned, and thrilled at being healed. But only one acted to express his feeling of gratitude.

That one man received more than just physical healing. In response to his expression of gratitude, Jesus said, “Your faith has made you well”—words many scholars interpret as indicating a deeper spiritual restoration. 

The lesson? If you feel it, say it! Gratitude that remains unexpressed puts a bit of rust on a relationship.   

A Spirit of Ingratitude

There’s a difference between not expressing gratitude and having a spirit of ingratitude. The former is forgetting to say thank you. It’s momentary, and we all do it from time to time. 

But a spirit of ingratitude is a mindset. When the Israelites were in the wilderness, they didn’t just forget to say thank you. They grumbled continually—even while God was feeding them manna from heaven. 

When we have a spirit of ingratitude, we act entitled, complain easily, and forget how much we’ve received. And it’s a mindset that ultimately pushes God and people away.

I remember a time when I had become quite smug about my professional success, subtly commending myself and forgetting who had made it all possible. Moses warns of this in Deuteronomy 8: When you eat and are satisfied—when your flocks grow large and your silver multiplies—“be careful that you do not forget the Lord your God” (see verses 10–14).  

It’s easy to remember God in our times of desperation but far too easy to forget Him in times of abundance. Thankfully, in His faithfulness, God allowed my business to collapse. For seven years, I was tested. But it was during that season that I learned what it meant to truly be grateful and to see everything—even hardship—as a gift. That period became the most spiritually rewarding time of my life.

The Joy of Expressed Gratitude

When we intentionally express gratitude to others, it fills their emotional bank accounts. You know from your own experience that when someone sincerely thanks you for something, it puts a spring in your step. It encourages your heart, nourishes your soul, deepens your faith in humanity, and causes you to give glory to God.  

Now turn it around and consider how much others need that encouragement and nourishment from you. Imagine what it means when you express gratitude to your overworked waitress with two small children trying to make ends meet because her abusive ex-husband is not paying child support. Or to the tired single dad who is repairing your car in between managing school dropoffs and pickups, dinner and homework.

In all your interactions, be sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s prompting; God may want to use you to encourage a specific person at just the right moment—whether it’s a rusty relationship or an encounter with a discouraged stranger. It can be as simple as sending a quick text to someone when you feel the emotion of gratitude for something they did or said. But cultivate the habit of showing and saying, “Thank you.” It’s such an easy way to lubricate life. 

Let’s choose to live with a spirit of gratitude and express it freely. It will not only change your life but also the lives of everyone around you.  

Questions for reflection and discussion: 

1. 1. Reflective: We’ve all had moments when we felt grateful but didn’t express it. Think of a specific instance; what kept you from saying thank you, and what do you wish you had done differently?
   2. Knowledge-based: In Luke 17:11–19, what does Jesus’ response to the one leper who returned to express gratitude reveal about the connection between gratitude and your relationship with God?
   3. Application-oriented: This week, who is one person you can intentionally thank—someone who may not even expect it? How might that simple act deepen your relationship or encourage their faith?

Patrick Morley, driven by his search for meaning and a deeper relationship with God, started a small Bible study in a bar in 1986. It grew into a global ministry, Man in the Mirror, impacting thousands of churches and millions of men. Inspired by these studies, he wrote The Man in the Mirror, named one of the 100 most influential books of the 20th century. A leading authority on men’s issues, he has authored 22 books and over 750 articles, with his works translated worldwide. Patrick holds degrees from the University of Central Florida, Harvard Business School, Oxford University, and Reformed Theological Seminary. He and his wife live in Winter Park, Florida, with their family. Patrick’s latest ministry for men can be found at the Patrick Morley website.