The Trouble With Confession

THE PROBLEM WITH CONFESSION

By: Andy Oldham

I was 16 years old and proud to stop breading drumsticks for Kentucky Fried Chicken, at $1.00 per hour. I was moving on to my second job. My older brother had left for college and he helped me get his position as stock boy at Madden Drug Store in Houston, Texas.

I enjoyed this new position and was excited that I was now paid 35 cents per hour more. You youngin’s can laugh at that, but that was good money for a part-time high school student in the mid-sixties.

It was in this job that I found a most unique lesson for life. I began to see S & H Green Stamps lying loosely around the counters. Customers that were not saving these particular stamps would leave them lying loosely on the counter after their purchase. For those who have no idea what an S&H Green Stamp is, ask grandpa, and he can help with that. Some stamps may have been extra ones that the clerks left out as well.

I saw no harm in picking them up and taking them home with me. I was excited about the possibilities of getting several free gifts through the many books of green stamps that I was beginning to accumulate. Looking through the catalog I picked out a baseball glove, a transistor radio, and some other items.

There may have been no harm in taking these stamps if I had discussed it with management first. Being young and afraid of the word, “NO”, I decided that what they did not know would not hurt.

However the Lord saw it differently. If there is one thing the Holy Spirit does well it is to convict. The Holy Spirit got me some kinda good, too. When I was ready to cash in my Green Stamp books I came to realize that what I was doing was not right. I had stolen those stamps! I could not get the things I wanted, and live with myself, or call myself a Christ follower. After a few days of trying to shake this guilty feeling, and I was on my knees asking the Lord to forgive me.

The lesson to be learned was not that the Holy Spirit convicts. I already knew that. After all I was your normal 16-year-old preachers kid. The problem arose in the consequence of sin. I could not just ask the lord to forgive me, which was too easy. My heart was contrite and breaking to confess what I had done wrong. The Holy Spirit was guiding me to confess to the pharmacist, who was my manager. Now, that does not seem so difficult by itself, but if you had known the pharmacist your face would have buckled and turned unrecognizable colors and shapes. He was not a fun person.

He was a short, scrawny little man that could hardly see over the high counter on the platform where he stood to dispense his medicines. While he was pint-sized in stature he carried a boisterous and powerful voice. I knew he was not one to tolerate anyone who did not carry his weight. He had fired several employees in my short time of employment and I was sure that once I made the decision to follow my heart I would be unemployed. At the same time I understood I must be obedient to the leading of the Holy Spirit, and confess.

I asked the pharmacist if I could talk to him. In turn, He asked if it could wait until later in the evening. Of course for a 16-year-old I was exuberant that I could put it off until later, with the ulterior motive of hoping that he would forget altogether. He did not forget. Toward the end of the shift he called me. I played like I didn’t hear him. He called again. This time it sounded like an amplifier, for he was standing right behind me. I realized that it was time swallow the pill. I had promised God that I would, and now it was time.

As I began to spill my heart I could see his eyes begin to glisten, it was though I was looking into a shiny black hole that had no bottom. I wandered if I should continue, so I paused. I knew to continue when his voice raised and he said, “Please go on!”

When I was finished he folded his arms and he stood for eternity in silence. The truth is I had only blinked twice. I will stand my ground in believing, that in those stinging moments God was telling him what to say. For all the consequences I thought I would have to face, I never dreamed what would come out of this man’s mouth.

I could accept having to return the S & H Green Stamps. I could even accept being fired. His assignment was neither. The fear and trembling of God was placed in me when he said, “You will have to tell your father.” What? I have to tell my dad? My dad was a six foot tall pastor, missionary and an oak of righteousness. His eyes alone, when raised in frustration, would be enough to put me on my knees. And when he reached to unbuckle his belt I could depend on the possibility of my life coming to an end at that very moment.

I prayed to myself,” Please God, anything but that!”

God did not hear my prayer, or else he was chuckling under His breath, for it continued to get worse. I would also have to bring my dad up to meet the pharmacist so that they could discuss my wrongdoing. I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking this to be totally unnecessary. What possible good could come from my dad and a stranger meeting to discuss Green Stamps?

At the age of sixteen I learned that for every thing you do in life, for every choice you make, there is a consequence. Whether the choice is good or bad, honest or dishonest, pure or immoral. As you walk through life there will always be decisions to make. Some are major, while others are simple everyday choices. However, there is an outcome for each decision that is made. It is called a consequence. With life’s consequences are presented new choices.

Do you see the cycle? Life presents choices. You make a decision based on the choices. The consequences are a result of the decision you make. Your life is based on the decisions you make.

But when we sin we have a loving Father who is ready to forgive. If our heart is contrite, He is faithful to forgive and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9)

The Lord teaches us to,

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
 and lean not on your own understanding;
 in all your ways submit to him,
 and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV

You see, God knows the consequence of each and every choice you make. As His child he wants what is best for you. He is the Father, your Father. In this last age we tend to intellectualize that this great Father-God cannot really understand our needs and therefore cannot make our everyday decisions.

You are right. God cannot make our everyday decisions because He will not make our decisions. He has given you the freedom to make those conclusions on your own. Along with that freedom, He provides His wisdom to those who seek it (James 1:5; Proverbs 2:6; Proverbs 8:17).” In an age of uncertainty He desires for you to become intimate with Him (James 4:8; John 4:23) in such a way that you listen to His guidance and instruction. For what greater opportunity is there for you to have good consequence when the one who truly loves you, and wants to guide your decisions on what is best for you, is waiting for you to simply.

There is no problem with confession, if you will just do it. Have you a sin in your heart today? Stop kicking against the goad and confess it to the Lord. He loves you and is waiting.

Obedience and confession bring peace and release from guilt.

Andy Oldham is the founder and co-creator of Christian Grandfather Magazine. He received his B.A. in religious studies and education from Anderson University. He has served as pastor to senior adults, and fills pulpits when needed. Andy taught memoir classes at the local library and after writing his personal memoirs wrote Everlasting Cronies, a story of growing up in rural Louisiana. His column in the Northside Sun Newspaper was well received by his community. A poem, Winters Grace has been honored by the Mississippi Poetry Society. He and his wife, Barbara, have six grandchildren and enjoy retirement in Madison, Mississippi.

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Feature Image by Gerd Altmann